Gavin Weightman

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Gavin Weightman


0 The Hazards of the Street Party

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  • by Administrator
  • 12-04-2011
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Here is a little verse I wrote in May 1977 when I was working on New Society magazine. I had been sent a press release by the Environmental Health Officers' Association with dire warnings of the hazards of the street parties planned for the Queen's Silver Jubilee.


The Hazards of the Street party by Gavin Weightman

Beware, beware, the Jubilee

The hazards of the street party

Heed well those men of cleanly stealth

Officers of Environmental Health


Don't let your cough

Pollute the broth

Cook well the frozen fowl

Keep down the toll

Of sausage rolls

Safeguard the festive bowel


Use paper cups

You don't wash up

And bandage well your sores

Yours boils and spots

Could spoil the lot
'Tis rash to flout these laws


Beware, beware the Jubilee

The deafening noise of revelry

Keep amps within 200 watts

And aim them at some central spot


Too fierce a noise

Will spoil our joys

Don't drown our loyalty

Heed the frown

And " Turn it down!"

In the name of Royalty


Beware, beware the Jubilee

The dirty cup of poisoned tea

The decibels that spoil the fun

Then, from Environmental Health

"Well done!"